D + 5 | including him at our wedding

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It’s been 5 years since my Dad died, today.

We had a confusing, complex relationship, mostly good: that doesn’t mean that he’s not missed. He’s missed out, too. I was married in July, and thankfully Dad met my husband Mark twice before he passed unexpectedly.

My mum suggested, that as part of the wedding day timetable, I deliver my bouquet to his graveside between Register Office and our evening meal. He is buried in the village I grew up in – some of you may recognise the graveyard. It was a great way to make it feel he was still present at my wedding, that he was included and that we respected both his life and his death. It became a key part of our wedding day. Plus, my bouquet would have only cluttered up the table!

These are photos that I’ve never shared before, but it feels appropriate today.

[media-credit name=”SJW Photography” link=”http://www.sjwphotos.co.uk/” align=”alignnone” width=”800″]Creating picture perfect memories that last a lifetime[/media-credit]

[media-credit name=”SJW Photography” link=”http://www.sjwphotos.co.uk/” align=”alignnone” width=”800″]Creating picture perfect memories that last a lifetime[/media-credit]

[media-credit name=”SJW Photography” link=”http://www.sjwphotos.co.uk/” align=”alignnone” width=”800″]Creating picture perfect memories that last a lifetime[/media-credit]

[media-credit name=”SJW Photography” link=”http://www.sjwphotos.co.uk” align=”alignnone” width=”800″]Creating picture perfect memories that last a lifetime[/media-credit]

At our wedding blessing 2 days later, he was present in full theme: our wedding blessing was a Mexican fiesta, a celebration of life and love, and we dressed him up appropriately. If you’ve lost a parent and are wondering about how to include them, these ways both felt tasteful. We didn’t want to creep our our guests, and we invited people to join us at his graveside even though they didn’t feel they should.

[media-credit name=”Real Simple Photography” link=”http://realsimplephotography.net” align=”alignnone” width=”800″]Real_Simple_Photography_0671[/media-credit]

Isn’t it funny how we subconsciously set and meet milestones in our head? One year was the first, then five years, the next will be 10. Is it our way of coping? Or realising how far we have come?

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